As I look at the situations of various people around me, I can’t help but be truly thankful every day for the life that I have lived. The struggles and heartbreaks, consequences of bad decisions I went through when I was much younger, all of it has made me better in some way. I don’t have to go through things today because I received some painful lessons, begrudgingly learned them and grew past them yesterday.
I’ve learned what a bad relationship looks like, I’ve learned what faux-love feels like and how to distinguish between wanting to be chosen (that almost desperate need for someone to chose you over the other options that they are entertaining) and knowing that I am the one whether I am chosen by that person or not. I’ve learned that “Bonnie & Clyde” and “Romeo & Juliet” were NOT romances, they were tragedies! Any love that pits me against my family or has me hiding/avoiding the people who love me can only lead to a tragic ending. I have learned that I don’t have to chase, fight or struggle for affection and anyone who says that’s what they want from me doesn’t love me and definitely doesn’t deserve my love. I inherently deserve love and affection for no other reason than because I am here and have love to give in return.
I’ve learned to recognize when someone is incapable of reciprocating love and how, no matter how badly it may hurt, I MUST let them go for my own well being because I AM MY PRIORITY. I’ve learned that love that costs me my safety, my self-respect, my peace, my security or limits my future happiness is too expensive and needs to be left where I found it.
Most importantly, I have learned that loving myself enough to set healthy boundaries and to defend those boundaries, say no when no is needed, bring up hard topics and stop avoiding difficult conversations, and to mean it when I say a behavior will not be tolerated, not make empty threats about leaving in the hopes that the other person will fold is absolutely the most important thing I can do. Loving myself enough to know when I deserve better and to do what it takes to get better even if that means saying goodbye.
Some people choose to hate the people that they dealt with in the past, to allow to painful emotions of what happened to determine the way that they view those people/situations going forward. I chose to see that everything I ever went through was meant to happen and happened to me for a reason. I choose to believe that I am better prepared for today because I struggled, hurt, cried and fought yesterday and to be thankful for that and the people who brought those lessons to me.
No matter how you choose to feel about it, the fact of the matter is that without your past, regardless of how painful it may have been, you would not be the person you are today. You would not know to avoid being burned if you had never felt the pain of heat before. You would not know the red flags of a liar if you had never been lied to before. You are better equipped to live today because of the struggles you went through and for that how could anyone not be grateful?
What are some lessons that you have learned? Do you disagree or agree with this post? Let me know your thoughts below!