I am a person who communicates and defends her boundaries. I am a person who speaks up when I feel like something isn’t right. Annoying as it may be, it’s in the core of my soul to be this way and I’m too old to try to fight it any more. When I am offended or hurt, I communicate that. I only do this with people who matter to me or who I feel deserve the benefit of my time/effort. It’s always only given in order to help us have a better relationship or to help those I care about to do better. If you don’t matter to me, I won’t waste the time.
If you are not someone who is able to have a conversation about things like that without wanting to have a problem, who can not be told when you are wrong or who refuses to listen, you will grow to dislike me pretty quickly. That is your prerogative and I wish you the best on your journey. Not everything is/has to be a fight. A disagreement does not have to turn into a confrontation. Someone speaking to you about how you offended them should not be taken as an afront. The fact that they bring it to your attention at all means they care enough to try to fix it rather than let it fester or simply ghost the relationship.
I’m a grown woman. I’ve been a grown woman for a long time. What I am not is someone who will allow herself to be disrespected or to even feel as though it’s possible she’s been disrespected without addressing it. I am also not a person who takes other people’s thoughts/feelings/opinions about other people into herself as though they are the law. When I deal with people, I deal with them with the knowledge of what others say but I allow my experience with them to take precedence. If my experience matches what others are saying, great. If not, great. I move accordingly. Other people can’t come to me and tell me that someone is good or bad. I see for myself and make my decisions from what I am shown.
I expect the people who I allow into my circle to do the same with me. Check me if I am wrong or if I have overstepped your boundaries. Respectfully show me what I have done so that I can do better next time and make apologies if/when necessary. When I come to a decision, it’s always after careful thought, but that doesn’t mean that I am always right. I am not always right. I don’t always make the best choices and if my choices have hurt someone I consider to be a friend then I’ll listen and make adjustments.
This is how I think everyone should be. You’re not always right. Be open to listening to what others say to you and make adjustments when necessary. That’s what mature relationships require of all of us.
